Setting Realistic Expectations When Preparing Yourself for Divorce

Although you are almost guaranteed to know at least one person, if not several people, who has gone through it, you won’t find many who want to talk about how painful and difficult divorce can be. Even if it is something you wanted, breaking away from one of the most significant relationships of your life can be devastating. What makes it even more challenging is that despite the emotional burdens you carry, the world still expects you to function and carry on with your responsibilities like an adult.

If you get the chance to read this post before you embark on your divorce journey, you should gain a realistic, but probably quite generalized, view of the divorce process so that you can set honest expectations. Every divorce is unique, but there are some broadly universal themes that most divorcing people will experience to some degree.

If you have children, prepare to have age-appropriate conversations with them about the divorce

If you have more than one child, you may want to gather them together and share the news about your divorce in broad terms, and then have one-one-one conversations with each one. Make sure that they understand that both of you love them regardless of what is happening, tell them the divorce is not their fault, and assure them that regardless of the marriage ending you will always be a family and you will always be there to take care of them. You may even want to talk to a child psychologist before you have this conversation with your children.

You may be living someplace new

If you and your spouse lived together in the marital home, it is likely that one of you will have to move out and get your own place, or move bedrooms to different parts of the house if both remain. It is possible both of you will need to move out. This can be hard on you and on the kids, so it helps to be prepared.

You will need a Rockville divorce lawyer

If your spouse told you that he/she wanted a divorce and served you with a divorce compliant, she/he probably already hired a divorce lawyer. What you need is a lawyer with the skill and experience to represent you and fight for your interests, and one with whom you can develop a working rapport. Ask for referrals from friends, and look up some local family law firms and ask if they will supply you with references that you can talk to about their work. Scan the attorney review websites such as Avvo.com to see what ratings your prospective divorce lawyer has, and how many positive reviews they have.

Your choice of Rockville divorce attorney will make all the difference in the outcome of your case, so do your best to set emotion aside and make a thoughtful, informed choice.

Asset division will be challenging

Maryland is an equitable distribution state, which means that instead of splitting all the marital assets down the middle 50/50, the court tries to divide the assets fairly between the parties. The court will consider factors such as:

• Length of the marriage
• Age, health and physical/mental condition of the parties
• The existence of a pre-nuptial agreement
• The financial and nonfinancial contributions of each party
• The economic condition of each party
• What caused the estrangement of the parties?
• Any other appropriate factors the court believes would contribute to the equitable division of the assets

Deciding on child custody could be challenging if you are not careful

Depending on the age of your child, divorce and custody arrangements will have an impact on the rest of their lives. You get to decide if you are going to put your child through the difficulty of seeing his or her parents fight over them, or you can learn to put aside the fight and make choices that will protect your child’s peace of mind.

No one really “wins,” but you can and will be happy again

Finally, be aware that there really are no winners in divorce. Not everyone walks away with everything they wanted, but each party is likely to walk away feeling like they have lost something significant. Going through a divorce, surviving divorce, and putting your life back together take courage and determination. You will lean on your close friends like never before, and you will come to value their support as you move through the stages of grief that come with the ending of an important relationship.

But, take hope. Pardon the cliché, but there absolutely is light at the end of the tunnel of grief and anger that you will pass through. Rather than it being the light from an oncoming train, you can make sure that the light is coming from the new life that you will begin once your divorce is final. And when you do make that decision, allow yourself to enjoy it.

The Rockville divorce attorneys at McCabe Russell, PA are here to prepare you for the challenges of divorce. You can speak with an experienced divorce lawyer serving Montgomery County clients by calling 443-812-1435 or filling out our contact form. We also maintain offices in Bethesda, Columbia and Fulton.

Divorce can be challenging both financially and emotionally. Work with the experienced Rockville divorce lawyers from McCabe Russell, PA to protect your interests throughout the divorce process.