Mediation Before Marriage? Why Pre-Marital Mediation Is a Good Idea

Mediation is often viewed as a tool for resolving disputes. In reality, it brings people together to have a conversation, clarify goals and expectations, and create a plan to move forward. By starting your future together with mediation, you may be having some of the most important conversations of your lifetime now before those unanswered questions become a problem for you in the future. Engaging in mediation before your marriage could prove to be an exceptional way to start on solid footing.

How premarital mediation differs from premarital counseling

Before delving into the benefits of pre-marital mediation, it’s important to understand how it differs from premarital counseling. Both are valuable tools, but they serve different purposes and can complement each other in preparing for a divorce.

Premarital Counseling: This process is relationship-focused and aims to improve understanding and communication between partners. It helps couples explore their relationship dynamics, address personal habits, and discuss future expectations in an emotional and interpersonal context.

Pre-Marital Mediation: Unlike counseling, mediation is more problem-driven and focuses on resolving specific issues, especially those related to legal or financial matters. A neutral mediator facilitates discussions to help couples reach agreements on key issues that might otherwise cause conflict. This process is particularly useful for addressing concrete decisions that could impact the marriage’s success.

Mediation involves a neutral mediator who takes both sides of the argument and finds a solution through common ground. A counselor’s job is not to solve the problem but rather to facilitate a discussion between the two of you so you can both solve the problem together. Mediation can also be incredibly helpful when you both know you want to be married but do not know how to reach common ground to make it work. It is often about the big, concrete decisions that can make marriage impossible.

What is mediation?

Mediation is a way in which a neutral mediator works with two people who may have different opinions, thoughts, ambitions, and goals to find some type of middle ground so that they can move forward. In a divorce case, a mediator’s job is to try to find solutions to avoid a difficult divorce process. Yet, prior to marriage, it can help you to achieve some incredible insights that can become a strong foundation for your future.

Mediation is these four things:

• A way to improve communication
• A way to establish goals
• A tool for finding creative solutions for your family or future
• A resource for helping both parties move forward in a positive manner

Mediation enables people to come together to answer questions and resolve concerns that could otherwise limit the success of a future marriage. With it, you can find out if there is the possibility of working it out and finding a solution or avoiding a marriage that could be financially and emotionally disastrous.

Consider the situations where mediation before divorce makes sense

There are many cases in which people find they want to spend time together but have vastly different views on the future or may come from a very different background than the other. In any situation where there is a risk for complications later, it is worth setting up an opportunity to discuss these areas with a mediator early on. Consider a few examples:

• You are an older couple planning to get married for the first time. Will there be concerns meshing your well-established lives together?
• You both have a wealthy financial status but your money management and building strategies are very different. Could there be some equal footing possible?
• You both have children with other people and expectations on how to maintain those relationships. Will it all come together with clarity so that there are no limitations?

Any situation that could cause friction down the line is something worth discussing now. Why not resolve this now, before you marry, and create a legal bond that makes moving forward more challenging?

Your Fulton mediation attorney can also put some rules in stone

Another key benefit to mediation before marriage is that it creates a way for you to create some “rules” or understandings between both of you before you move forward. For example, if you are an older couple with your own ways, you can set up a prenuptial agreement that outlines key factors, such as the businesses you each own or the pensions you are bringing into the relationship. You may wish to make some decisions now about how assets may be split later, should there be no way forward for you both.

With the help of a mediator, you can come to a conclusion about what your future holds and whether or not marriage really can work. Less about the emotional aspect and more about the money, assets, responsibilities, families, and obligations, mediation before marriage helps you to create a clear path (or perhaps shed light on a path that is a bit murky and not as sure as you may think).

If you are unsure mediation is the right step forward, speak to a family law attorney in Fulton about it. Discuss what it could do for you both to meet with a mediator. Frankly, if you put this off and there is something on the edge of your mind that is bothering you or limiting you from moving forward, it could hurt you in the long run.

Now is the best time to learn a bit more about mediation before you get married. At McCabe Russell, P.A., we provide comprehensive services to our clients, helping you plan for a future together that is built on trust and equal understanding. Set up a consultation with our family law attorney in Fulton to learn how we can help you. Call our office or fill out our contact form to schedule an appointment at one of our offices located in Fulton, Columbia, Bethesda, or Rockville.