Can Your Job Cost You Your Marriage? Just Ask Kevin Costner

Long-time Hollywood star, Kevin Costner, is in hot water with his soon to be ex-wife. The two are calling it quits, and it is rumored that it is due to Costner’s refusal to change his work schedule in order to spend time with his wife and children.

Recent claims suggest that Christine Baumgartner wanted Costner to leave Yellowstone to play a more active role in parenting their three children. Costner allegedly asked for a more favorable shooting schedule but then focused on his Civil War project, according to Cinema Blend.

And if OK Magazine is to be believed, this will not be an easy divorce. Per the tabloid:

As the former pair head for a divorce battle, Baumgartner has been sharpening her knives to get what she deserves. “He’s worth a quarter of a billion dollars and she had the tiniest engagement ring in Hollywood,” the source said. “He’d think nothing of being away for months at a time on the Yellowstone set — or other projects — if he thought it would cement his status as one of Hollywood’s biggest stars.”

How common are jobs the source of divorce?

Busy work schedules can certainly contribute to marital strain and, in some cases, lead to divorce. While it is challenging to provide current and precise statistics on the direct role of busy work schedules in American divorce rates, it is widely acknowledged that the demands of work and long working hours can place significant strain on marriages and relationships.

• In a research article published by the National Library of Medicine, it was found that “Long work-hours for more than 60 hours per week had significantly higher risk of divorce or separation in females, but not in males” in Korea.
• Additionally, an older study about work-hours in the Netherlands found that “divorce is more likely when the husband works on average fewer hours and the wife more hours during the first years of marriage. Furthermore, couples facing more financial problems and those spending less time together have a higher divorce risk.”

When one or both partners have demanding work schedules, they may struggle to find quality time for each other. Lack of communication, emotional disconnection, and reduced time spent together can erode the foundation of a marriage. This can lead to feelings of neglect, loneliness, and dissatisfaction, which can ultimately contribute to marital discord and, in some cases, divorce.

Moreover, the stress and exhaustion resulting from busy work schedules can impact an individual’s emotional well-being and overall relationship satisfaction. Constantly being overwhelmed by work commitments can leave little energy and attention for the emotional needs of a partner, further straining the relationship.

Long work hours are often noted as a cause of divorce in a list of 21 careers that lead to divorce, as written by GoBankingRates. That includes jobs like mechanical repair jobs, electricians, tax examiners, administrative services managers, diagnostic-related technologists and technicians, food-service workers, chemical technicians, and military servicemembers.

It’s important to note that divorce is a complex issue, and while work schedules can be a contributing factor, they are often intertwined with various other factors such as communication problems, financial issues, infidelity, and incompatible values or goals. Every marriage and divorce is unique, and the specific reasons behind a divorce can vary greatly from one couple to another.

How to have a busy job and still be a dedicated co-parent

Parenting equity or equality in co-parenting is an important consideration for couples, especially when one or both parents have demanding jobs.

• Equity in co-parenting refers to an approach where both parents share responsibilities fairly, taking into account their abilities, availability, and work commitments.
• Equality in co-parenting aims for a more balanced distribution of parenting duties, where both parents have equal involvement in childcare, decision-making, and household responsibilities.

If you have a high-powered or busy job, it could affect how and when you parent. But working long hours doesn’t mean you cannot co-parent effectively, or that you cannot continue to develop bonds with your children. It simply means that you need to think carefully about your child custody schedule. Not all families can have – or even want – a true 50/50 split when it comes to physical custody. The good news is that this is perfectly normal, and that there are creative ways to adapt that will work best for your family.

The effect of your job on custody orders

When determining custody orders, the court’s primary consideration is the best interests of the child. Work schedules and job demands can be factors in custody decisions, but they are evaluated alongside other aspects such as the child’s age, parental involvement, stability, and overall well-being. Courts may take into account the ability of each parent to provide a stable and nurturing environment for the child, including their capacity to meet the child’s physical, emotional, and educational needs.

If a parent’s work schedule significantly impedes their ability to fulfill these responsibilities, it could affect custody arrangements. This is one reason why you want an attorney; you should have an advocate who can help you show that your best interests are aligned with your children’s at all times.

What are some helpful tips for parents with high-paying or time-consuming jobs?

Just because you have a bustling career does not mean that you cannot be a good parent. It simply means that you need to spend time considering the priorities of your children and your family.

Some other things to consider include:

• Communication and planning. Maintain open and honest communication with your co-parent. Plan and coordinate schedules in advance, including work commitments, parenting time, and other responsibilities. Utilize shared calendars or scheduling apps to stay organized. You can also choose to seek the help of a parenting coordinator. They are impartial professionals who will help parents work together effectively.
• Quality over quantity. Prioritize quality time with your child when you are available. Focus on creating meaningful and memorable experiences during the time you spend together.
• Delegate and seek support. If possible, delegate tasks and responsibilities both at work and at home. Consider seeking support from family, friends, or hired help to manage household chores or childcare duties when needed.
• Flexible work arrangements. Explore options such as flexible working hours, remote work, or job-sharing arrangements if they align with your job and employer. Negotiate for a work schedule that allows for more time with your child if you can.
• Self-care and boundaries. Take care of yourself physically and mentally. Set boundaries between work and personal life to maintain a healthy work-life balance. Prioritize self-care to ensure you have the energy and emotional well-being to be present for your child.

Remember, every family dynamic is unique, and finding the right balance may require trial and error. It’s important to adapt and adjust strategies based on your child’s needs and the evolving circumstances of your family. Seeking guidance from a family therapist or counselor experienced in co-parenting can also provide valuable support.

A family law attorney can provide legal guidance and support in navigating co-parenting challenges and work schedules. We can assist in negotiating and drafting custody agreements that consider work commitments, help with mediation and dispute resolution, guide you through modifying existing orders to accommodate changes in work schedules, and provide legal representation in court to ensure your rights and interests are protected. At McCabe Russell PA, we focus on custody and co-parenting matters and we can provide invaluable assistance in navigating the legal aspects of co-parenting with demanding work schedules.

If you are interested in scheduling a free consultation to discuss parenting plans and child custody matters, we invite you to call us or fill out our contact form. Our team of experienced lawyers is ready to assist you in understanding the details of your case and exploring the available options based on your unique circumstances. We are pleased to offer our services at our office locations in Fulton, Bethesda, Rockville, or Columbia. We’re here to help you through this often-complicated time.